Short Story: Reach Out
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
Day 1 of Captain’s Log.
Okay, am I doing this right? I’m not quite sure how this voice recording stuff works. Sorry, it’s weird to talk to myself, though I guess everyone hates hearing their own voice. Got plenty of food, plenty of water. Managed to grab a load before I escaped, to add to the stuff here. Thankfully this escape pod has an endless air supply, so as long as this front window doesn’t crack, I’m okay. Communications don’t seem to be working, maybe I’m too far away from anyone, but I’ll keep trying. As for the others...I think…I think I was the only one to make it out. I didn’t see anyone before the whole place blew up. They were…the engineer was…I’m trying to piece together the cause, but I’m too shaken right now to think straight. I’m gonna try and sleep it off, though I don’t know if that will help. I just hope someone finds me soon.
Day 2 of Captain’s Log.
Can’t tell if I’m still in shock. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I just keep staring out of this window. The view’s nice, obviously. Lots of stars. I’m trying to spot any I’m familiar with, to map out where I can go. Though we weren’t stationed near anyone else, otherwise someone would have picked up on my communications by now. Seems like no one can hear me. I don’t think this pod has enough fuel to take me home. I just hope it takes me somewhere. If I’m just going to end up as a dead body floating through space, I would have stayed with the others. I would have rather died there. I don’t want to die all by myself, especially as space has a way of making you feel even more alone than you already are. No, I…I shouldn’t be thinking like this. I shouldn’t be going crazy on the second day. I have enough supplies, I just need to think positive. I just wish I’d grabbed some books or something. Anything to take my mind off the situation.
Day 5 of Captain’s Log.
Water amount’s still good. Enough food. Haven’t found anyone yet. No communications. I’m reliving the explosion in my mind. I hope that someone else made it out. I hope that so badly. It was my patrol, so everyone else was asleep. It was my responsibility. If someone else was on duty, maybe they would have done something. Maybe they could have known what went wrong. It seemed like an accident, but I don’t know how the ship would even…and…was there someone else? There was tapping. I remember, when I was walking around the halls, I could hear tapping. Like, long nails tapping. I miss walking. Sorry, I’m rambling. This log helps make me feel like I’m talking to someone, like an actual other person, and not just myself. I thought I found another ship, but it was just a weirdly shaped rock. Kind of like an alien ship. Now that’s a scary thought. Apparently, we’ve had some crews sent out to find something here, but I doubt I’m going to run into an alien anytime soon. I hope.
Day 15 of Captain’s Log.
It doesn’t feel right, saying Captain’s Log. Back on the ship, I wasn’t…anyway, there’s barely any supplies left. Enough water, but food’s disappearing faster than I thought it would. It’s like someone else has taken it. But it’s so quiet. No one’s responded to me. No one can hear. I miss other people’s voices; I feel like I’ve been here forever all by myself. Not much sleep, and I’m getting worried about that. I think I’m starting to hallucinate, or rather, I’m hearing stuff. I hear tapping at the window. I think it woke me up at one point. Maybe a piece of the pod’s broken loose?
Day 28 of the Log.
Sorry, I keep forgetting to do these logs, which is funny considering there’s nothing else to do. I keep forgetting to send out signals as well, but really, what’s the point? I don’t think anyone’s going to hear them. The only thing I’m getting in response is silence. That and…you know…the tapping. I know it’s real now. It went away for a while, so I thought I’d just been imagining it, but it’s there. And I really don’t think it’s a piece of the pod. Because the night it came back was the night I tapped on the window. It was a spur of the moment thing, but I just got curious. I knocked, and for a moment, nothing happened. But then there it was, echoing all around me. Tap, tap, tap. I couldn’t breathe steadily for ages afterwards. But it comes all the time now. I’m starting to wish there was actually someone there. I wish anything was there. I haven’t seen stars for weeks. Which is weird, because that means the lighting outside shouldn’t be changing. But there are constantly shadows across the glass.
Day 82.
I saw something. A minute ago. There was a hand at the window. I repeat, there was a hand at the window. It didn’t look human, the nails were too long, but it disappeared so quickly I couldn’t fully examine it. I wish I could have taken a closer look. Will investigate further, maybe then this mission can have some form of a successful outcome. What was that thing? I really hope it’s not hostile. Though I’m less scared about it than I thought I’d be. How have I survived this long? Hah, maybe I’m already dead. I know, I shouldn’t think like that, but it’s hard to keep a clear head. You can’t keep track when all you see is nothing except a hand. What was it doing there? Oh, and no food. Some Water.
Day 54.
I’m trying to see if I can spot the thing, though obviously I can’t open the window. Very limited vision through it, all I can see most of the time is my own reflection, but I’ll keep looking. Wait, this isn’t day fifty-four, is it? Have I been here before?
Day 177.
Still nothing in the window except my own face. But I know it’s there, because I can still hear the tapping. I wonder why it’s doing that. Why doesn’t it just show its face? It knows I’m here. It knows I won’t hurt it. Thankfully, it seems like it won’t hurt me. Maybe the tapping is a form of communication? What are you? Where have you come from? I should probably think about something else, but whenever I try to, my mind goes blank. I can’t picture anything. I’m forgetting where I’m meant to be heading. Why was I even out here in the first place? No supplies left. There’s nothing left in here except me. And the tapping.
Day 328…I think?
I saw it again, the other day. I didn’t imagine it; it was unclear through the glass, which might be in need of repairs, but I saw it right above me. I forgot to log immediately; it was one of those moments where you can’t look away, even when it’s over. I’ve not stopped thinking about it since. Its eyes. I saw its eyes. Not very clearly, it’s all still such a blur, but I remember how empty they looked. Like it’d been adrift for years. Like it had nothing, or no one. I can’t help but…even if this thing is tormenting me, I feel sorry for it. I miss it, when it’s gone.
Day 2000. It must have been that long.
I’m reliving the explosion in my mind. I hope that someone else made it out. I hope that so badly. It was my patrol, so everyone else was…no. I’ve been here before. I can't remember those people properly. Maybe they never existed. Maybe they did. They were the only people I knew. I don’t think there were ever others. No one else in existence. I wonder where we came from? Maybe that’s what it wanted to know too. Maybe they just wanted to get to know me so badly that they destroyed the ship. I want to know them as well. It’s a shame I can’t open the window. There’s no more room on this log. But I’m still going.
Day +
Where are you? Where am I? I don’t know where I came from. If we’re together, maybe that won’t matter. It won’t matter. Please come back.
Day …
I can’t remember how old I am. I think I’m eleven. Either eleven or five-hundred. How old are they? I think they’re my age. Do you think we could have ever been friends? Maybe we always have been. Every time I get a glance of them, their neck, their arm, their…they look like something in my memories. I’ve known them forever. That’s all I know. I don’t know where they came from. They must have existed, though, right? There can’t just be nothing there. Now that’s a scary thought. Where are you? I keep tapping on the window. Can you hear me?
Day ////
I can see them! Right now, they’re facing the window. They’re here, they’re really here with me! They look so fascinated by me, and so happy, same as I am! I’m glad we’ve found each other again. They’re copying my movements, reaching out to the glass, trying to touch me. But…my hands, when I look down, they’re different. They’re...they’re not my hands. These have too long nails.
Day xxxxx
What’s my name? I never said it on the log. I think the log might be broken anyway, it keeps glitching and there’s a strange voice on it. Maybe someone used it before me. But there’s no one else here. I haven’t seen them in so long. So long. They must be dead. And it’s my fault, because I didn’t let them in. Now I’m the only one left. It feels so much like nothing. So weightless, like my body doesn’t exist anymore. The Universe doesn’t want it; I’m an alien to the whole of space. It’s like I haven’t been born yet. But maybe I was never born. After all, I’m the only thing in existence. No, I can’t be. I’m not. I’m not.
Day _________________________________________________________
Where are you? Please come back. Please. Please come back. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can ___ hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you ____ me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear __? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? ___ you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear __? ________hear me? Can you hear me? Can you _______?
___ you ____ me?
Can ___ hear __?
Can you hear me?
_______________?
_______________?
Day 1 of Captain’s Log.
Okay, am I doing this right? I’m not quite sure how this voice recording stuff works. Sorry, it’s weird to talk to myself, though I guess everyone hates hearing their own voice. Got plenty of food, plenty of water. Managed to grab a load before I escaped, to add to the stuff here. Though I don’t think I’ll need it. And I don’t know why I’ve started a log now, because someone has already heard my communications. I can see them in the window. They’re holding out a hand to me. They’ve got long nails, but that’s okay. I’m not making the same mistake as…I don’t know. I just need to open the window, and let them in. With the window open, I can’t see them, but I’m not scared. I’m reaching out right now. I can feel them. Like a burning in my mind. Someone has found me.
END
This piece was longlisted in the Shoreline of Infinity's “A Twist of Reality” 2019 Competition.